Father’s Day

19 Jun

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This was the last time I saw my dad. Father’s Day 2006. We meet him for lunch where we also met his new friend, Kay. I talked to my dad about every other day between that Father’s Day and September when he passed away. I may have seen again between Father’s Day and his death but this is the visit that I remember. Kay and him were wanting to babysit Missy Mack. My dad never could babysit her because he had a stroke in 1996 that left his left arm not working so he couldn’t pick Missy Mack up. It just wasn’t safe. It was very frustrating to him. Kay brought that chance to him. It never happened. That might be my only regret about my too short time with my dad. Since I was a teenager, I knew my time with my dad on this Earth was limited because I learned that my dad had a heart attack on his annual hunting trip while I was performing at my first away football game with the drill team as a freshman. After that, I made a decision to make the moments count. To say I am sorry, to laugh as much as I can with him, to say I love you and to spend time with him. He made this very hard starting my senior year in high school. He was an alcoholic. He cheated on my mother. I caught him on the phone with the other woman while I was on a ski trip with my friends that he took us on. I knew his secret and my mom didn’t. He showed up at The National Honor Society drunk and grabbed my mom’s boob ( I learned this part later) in front of the other parents. He drove my mom away at a crucial time in my life. I worked many years to forgive him. I did forgive. He also did tremendous things. He designed and created almost every drill team costume and backdrop (he wad an artist). He drove me to ATM many times and helped move me all around town while I was there. He was present emotionally and physically for every event in my life. He watched me with a twinkle in his eye even when I was chugging beer. He stood up for my friends. He demanded that boys treat all of us with respect. He believed in fun. He was regretful of the decisions he made. He was a proud grandpa. He loved Mr. Mack. On our wedding day, he knew I didn’t want to cry down the aisle so he doubled up on his meds and made jokes all the way down aisle so I would laugh instead of cry. Years before, he drove me to my college graduation boo hooing uncontrollably. I was touched and mad all at the same time. He had a stroke weeks before and it affected his emotional part of his brain so no matter what he felt, he cried. He was so proud of me for graduating from ATM.

I miss my dad and love him so much!

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Then there is this guy.

He is the best dad. He fiercely loves Missy Mack. He is the least resistant man I know to being a daddy. He wants to be involved in everything and never bats an eye at helping out. I have never heard him complain once in doing some sort of fatherly duty. Not even the non-sleeping part. He struggles with fatherhood a bit because he didn’t have the best example of a dad. His dad worked on the assumption that being present was all that was needed. He doesn’t engage. His dad is physically there, but he isn’t really there. Even this morning he actively engaged in the unlimited treats that he was served from Missy Mack’s playdoh restaurant, ‘Yellow Shirt’. This is a daily occurrence in the Mack house but this morning he was served many treats and he pretending to love every bite even when the game had gone on too long. Mr. Mack encourages Missy Mack’s imagination and mine too! I love Mr. Mack even more everyday ad I watch him be the engaged loving father that he is to Missy Mack.

That let’s me know that while mothers struggle with the balancing act of being great mommies, wives and career person, so do dads.

I find it interesting to watch how our generation us handling parenthood. I enjoy watching people I have grown up with turn into grown ups.

So, here are to the men in my life who serve as living examples to my daughter for being people who love with all their heart, make mistakes and move on.

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Happy Father’s Day!

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One Response to “Father’s Day”

  1. starnesfam June 19, 2011 at 9:44 pm #

    I’m so sorry you miss your dad. Happy Father’s Day to all the great men in your life!

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