192: In My Head Day

24 Sep

Today, I spent a lot of time ranting in my head. Friday night, I tried to have a convo with Mr. Mack that I should go to my mom it turned horribly wrong in such a shocking way that dropped it. Instead of me getting to march into the room and announce I would be going alone to take care of my mom, he announces he is going to go. What? He has become a little too possessive or bossy or something with me and snaps out these judgements. I have started to hold back sharing information as to not hear how he feels about it. I’d like to just get in the car and call him when I get to my moms.

Instead, today, I drove to the children’s hospital to drop off a gift for Rex. I drove alone, in my car, the route I wanted to go and took as long as I wanted. I later visited a friend and just had a quiet day to myself.

Sometimes I wonder if I have lost myself or if something is wrong that I don’t rant and rave when feel this way. Then I think, maybe it’s just a day, a funk. It will pass. He means well. It’s not worth a fight. Is it? Not sure.

I guess I’ll see how long the funk lasts. How fragile am I ?

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